I took to this blog a few months ago to hi-light the plight of men’s trouser shapes. Generally speaking, I am quite liberal in my aesthetic worldview – if you can wear an over-sized neon puffa jacket with aplomb, I salute you. If you like to wear head-to-toe paisley, and you do it with confidence, then I cannot but admire you. However, I have been traumatized by the increasing desultory attitude of the Irish male when it comes to trousers; too baggy, too tight, too holey, too customised. Shudder. But nothing quite prepared me for the visual violation on Xposé the other night. Perhaps you are familiar with them – perhaps – SHOCK HORROR – you own a pair/ bought them for a partner. Aussiebum.
Package enhancing male boxers. A selection of lurid colours and generous padding are apparently all a man needs to lead a fulfilled sartorial life. What have these got to do with trousers? Well the Aussiebum spokesperson was trying to sell the Aussiebum wraparound label on the boxers as the cheeky hint of bum-crack sloganeering that all the cool kids were wearing – basically drop your cacks guys. Forget your Prada and your Hilfiger: flash your Aussiebum and you too can be cool AND well-endowed. The brand enjoys themed boxer lines – such as patriotic country slogans, animal print and festive treats, as well as the WonderJock and Support lines. So much choice, so much variety…
People of Ireland, I urge you to take action. Forget Budget Cuts, Tax Hikes, Government Racketeering; we are dealing with a potential population crisis. There will be NO procreation in a landscape of Aussiebum.
PS – I DO realise I am compounding the problem with product placement and gratuitous shots of naked men, but I need people to fully experience the Aussiebum phenomenon.
