Right. I have a ‘chop’ coming on. ‘The chop?’ ‘What’s that?’ I hear you say. The chop is a gruelling, masochistic experience whereby you proffer your innocent, long-suffering hair into the hands of an overly-ambitious hairdresser. Why would I sign myself up for this? I’m not. This is just what happens when you walk into a hairdresser with pictures, diagrams and explicit hand-gestures of the hairstyle you wish to have (and by that same token, are willing to handover a wad of cash for). The hairdresser in question will nod and smile and agree with your requests. She will look at your portfolio of images with steely concentration and she will promise ‘not to take too much off’. And then – BAM – it’s all gone (the hair that is) and in its place some sort of multi-coloured, asymmetrical, utterly impractical mop.
Timotei User
Low Maintenanace
Happens every time. I know this and yet I’m willing to let it all happen again – why? Well my current hair situation is dire. For some inexplicable reason I have two-tone hair. Inexplicable because it hasn’t been dyed in three years. Some like to call this ‘ombre’; a fashionable style being sported by the likes of Rachel Bilson and Alexa Chung. I like to call it ‘messy’. And not in a good way. My hair is neither here nor there in terms of colour, length, texture or style. I am in hair purgatory – adrift in a sea of non-style and split ends. The only way to rectify this is to hand my hair and my dignity over to the hairdresser. And those guys…well they just play by their own rules. If multi-coloured, asymmetrical mops are ‘in’ according to the salon policy, then you, my friend, are getting one. (I would settle for a mullet as long as it was done properly)
Possibly Manageable?
The hair I want but will never have...
