My colleague bought me a cup yesterday that said:
Keep CALM and carry on SHOPPING.
It was pink. It was the best present I had received all week. It carries a fine cup of tea (good volume and the perfect circumference) and it sums me up perfectly…whenever I’m a bit low or high or heartbroken or in love or stressed or excited or indifferent…(anything really), I like to go shopping. Oh wondrous clothes and stuff and things; shiny, glittery, happy fun. Shopping keeps you perfectly cocooned from the mad, bad world.
But I’m a little worried. In recent months I have noticed less disposable income to spend on my frivolous fluff (something to do with increased taxes or pay freezes or something Serious like that). This displeases me immensely. I mean you turn on the telly and it’s all DOOOOOOOOM. And then I don’t have enough cash to splash on the new Lanvin for H&M collection or the black leather collar from ASOS Black and what about the leopard print Senso Wilma booties? So, I’ve decided to take action – enough is enough. I need to march with the people. I need to shout and decry and debate on the streets of Dublin. Which is what I’m doing this very Saturday at 12pm on Wood Quay. I think some people are there to galvanise momentum for a general election; others are there to put forth strategies that support the people. I will be there to highlight the importance of shopping in economic crisis and the strain of a shopping-free existence on the people of Ireland.
I will also provide some invaluable and instructive advice on: What To Wear To A Protest
1. Thermal undies (the big freeze happens this weekend people)
2. Fingerless gloves (to hold the Free Shopping placards)
3. No heels – there will be lots of stomping and pacing
4. A delightful hat (in case things start getting thrown)
5. Maybe only a smidgen of make-up (tears of rage, tears of rage)
Please let it be known that this is all tongue-in-cheek and I am going to protest on Saturday for the right reasons: less discrepancy between Euro and Sterling prices in Topshop
