What to wear…when climbing a mountain?
What’s a fashionable gal to do when climbing Croagh Patrick? Climbing Croagh Patrick on Easter weekend after eating approximately 7 tonnes of chocolate? Well crucially, the first course of sartorial action is Not To Panic. Below is a handy list
1. Find yourself a big stick. ‘Tis a great accessory and colour coordinates with almost anything.
2. (a) Shades. A given. When you’re vomiting out of your eyeballs with the strain of scrambling up rocks (and little kids scurrying past you like mountain goats I might add), a pair of giant shades will conceal all shame.
2. (b) Shades. You never know WHO you might see on top of a mountain. Best to look as ‘sleb like as possible
3. Lycra if possible. Absolutely perfect for pulling all manner of silly stretches to give the impression you like to run up and down Croagh Patrick every weekend.
4. Adidas 3-stripes. Research has proven that lots of athletes and pop-stars like to wear Adidas 3-stripe, thus making you instantly fitter and hotter
5. (a) Hoodies. In case you get stranded on the side of the mountain, hoodies can be reconstructed as tents, and if you have one that is particularly patterned, you can look stylish whilst retaining high-visibility.
5. (b) Hoodies are particularly adept at concealing the pregnant Easter Egg belly.
Now, GERRUP THAT MOUNATAIN WOULDJA?