If I went to Cannes, who would I dress up as? Gwen Stefani of course. STEFANI 4LIFE. Ok, no, maybe not with that fervour, but she’s definitely heads above the (cavalcade of ) celebrities spotted at Cannes doing their thang*, and doing it a seriously slick way. Clashing, animal print bikinis with fun colours and cool maxi skirts, festival-appropriate shades, beautiful sundresses and ABS SO HARD YOU COULD THROW A FRIDGE AT THEM. Undeniably impressive as they are (body building much?), it does make me think she must do spontaneous drop and gimme 200 ab crunches at random intervals over the course of the day. ‘And Gwen, what did you think of Lars Van Triers’ awful clanger there about Nazi’s'? ‘Gwen?’ ‘GWEN?’ ‘Oh, you’re on the floor. Crunching. My apologies. Do carry on’.
So, Stefani has got the I’m-rich-but-I’m-one-cool-ass-muthafucka style going on during the day, but boy does she bring out the big guns for night-time. Sequinned jumpsuits, helmet-hair, toilet-roll dress tails, Barbie-pink lips…sounds hideous, but Stefani looks awesome. And completely and utterly ageless. I have no idea where she stands on the age spectrum. And how come her bleached-to-shizz hair never seems to be in danger of falling out? Grumble grumble.
I will say this though – ease up on the falsies love – looks like one of yours is going all cannibal on your eye. Verrrrrrry close to tranny-town.
*(namely posing it would seem; does anybody actually watch films? I mean, where would you fit in an film review when there are yachts to dive off and magnums and magnums of champers to quaff?)
Pics from Daily Mail and Look magazine
