What to Wear if GTL doesn’t work on the Geordie Shore?

Posted by Grace on Friday, June 10, 2011 · Leave a Comment

It’s only Week Three and we’ve already seen some amount of drinking, partying and clubbing in the Brit’s version of Jersey Shore-cleverly re-titled, ‘Geordie Shore’. Actually, scrap that. The first episode following Newcastle’s ‘Guido’s’ and ‘Guidette’s', had enough fake tan, bare flesh, Jagerbombing, jacuzzi-boobing(?-only way I can describe it), smooching, mauling (when smooching borderlines on dangerous bodily attack to the face), twosomes, threesomes, and ‘honestly-my-boyfriend-doesn’t-mind-if-I-sleep-in-another-guy’s-bed’ quotes, to last me the next ten years of hangover reality T.V. However, besides all that, it seems the Geordie’s like to think they know a thing or two about looking HAWT on a night out. Forget Jershey’s GTL-the Geordie’s have got their own cap-locked mandate. Roll on BEA-Boobs, Eyebrows and Accessories…

B is for BOOBS: It’s all about the cleavage. Girls can wear low cut tops, or, go for the frontal flashing option. While guys can choose between low-cut tops, or, the frontal flashing option.

E is for EYEBROWS: Thin and high laydies, and gents. This gives the opposition the impression you’re giving them the Joey Tribiony of checking out looks.

A is for ACCESSORIZE, ACCESSORIZE, ACCESSORIZE!: For guys a large bangin’ watch and double earrings will do. While girls need to just splash on everything but the kitchen sink, and hair from the floor of one hundred salons.

G is for GREG: But if you’re the posh guy Greg you ignore all these rules-he has feelings you know…