The Age of Wedding is upon us. Is it an age-thing? A season-thing? A celebrity-thing? A rekindling of traditional values in the face of technological determinism and crumbling economic superstructures? I haven’t a bog, but more’s to the point, what will I wear? Various WWIWT compatriots have covered the many fashion-angles of weddings – Rebecca is Wedding Guest No 1 this summer (have you invited her to yours yet?) and as such, has given us the low-down on what to wear as a Bridesmaid, accessible price-ranges, suitable accessories, wedding dress disasters and how not to approach weddings. Aideen has given us ample coverage of the Wills&Kate affair, including the make-up and Nicole Richies controversial dress decision.
THE shorts
I simply have one topic I want to discuss. CAN I WEAR SEQUINNED DISCO SHORTS TO A WEDDING? I am going to a wedding in France. I don’t actually know the main players involved (i.e, the Bride and Groom), I’m not sure what the dress code is, I’ve heard reports of staggering heatwaves in August in France and this is only my second grown-up wedding. Nonplussed doesn’t even come into it. So, I was having a little peruse about the interweb and came across these Reiss sequinned shorts that MUST be mine. I’m thinking that if I pair with a white, cami vest-top, a structured blazer and some KILLER HELLS, I should fit the bill? And, even if I don’t, at least I’ll be shiny. And as one friend enthused – I’ll be able to roll straight from the ceremony onto the dancefloor.
Now, to the maintenance questions – will I get fake tan everywhere if I do white on white? Yes, I am succumbing to the fake tan. I’ve already discussed my bluish and bruised pale limbs. It’s for the good of the people. Really. Should I go for a sleeve-less blazer? Might be refreshing in the heat, but will I ever wear it again? Shall I be bold and colour-clash my shoes in an obnoxious electric blue or neon pink? Or is there any way I can get my hands on those Kat Maconie Ophelia shoes I’ve been lusting over all year. And finally – do I invest in some high-end costume jewellery? I fear my various knuckledusters and €5 rings from Polish markets might be a tad unseemly. I’m thinking a mighty Cleopatra-style gold collar and some crunchy gold rings.
I’m also thinking I might not be able to actually attend the wedding if I spend all my money on this outfit. Hmmmmm. And OHMYGOD, I just realized I cannot wear my Back to the Future sunglasses or my white, rhinestone porn shades. Cripes.
