You can tell a lot about a man from his Timex…

What does your Timex say about you? My boyfriend is in the market for a watch (any old watch will do as long as it’s sturdy and durable). I’ve only ever really gone down the road of fashion watches (you mean they’re actually supposed to tell the time?) so I would be rooting for the ridiculously playful and OTT Jeremy Scott for Swatch range. I sense this will be a losing battle, and that I’ll have to get on board with the trusted Timex…so what can one gleam from a Timex watch. Next to shoe- and tie-choice, the watch is one of the few areas of personal expression for men. What does yours say?

Maturity

I am mature. I am grown up. Like a full-bodied wine. In fact, I have started wine-tasting classes in Fallon and Byrne. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being able to distinguish your Malbec from your Merlot, particularly when one travels a lot.

I am…Chuck Norris

I got into Extreme-Underwater-Snowjumping when I was about 5. With this watch, I intend to climb Everest barefoot, whilst simultaneously reading the entire works of Dostoyevsky. There’s a pop-up survival tent buried in the watch somewhere.

The Milky Bars are on me

I’m fun! I’m kerazzy! I like to party (except on school-nights). I stayed awake for 5 days straight once and I still have my wristband from Bloc 2004.

Hip and Square

Watches? Whatever. They’re just functional and practical necessities to ensure you get from A to B on time. If it happens to look cool under my 55 DSL Oxford Shirt and discreetly colour coordinates with my Mishka snap-back cap, then so be it.

Whipped

These? They’re not mine. Well, they are, but my girlfriend made me get them. She says they’re Jeremy Scott for Swatch. She may be speaking Swahili for all I know. Doesn’t matter, she wears them 99% of the time – but if I ask her, she’ll always tell me the time. She’s very generous like that.

Pictures from Amazon and Swatch.com